Y’all ready for this?
I’ve been at a bit of a crossroads with this blog and also the rest of my life. This really shouldn’t come as a shock to me, since a) I decided to pursue medical school after college, b) I started this year as a resident assistant, or RA, at school, and c) I managed to become so busy that even Netflix lost its appeal as a procrastinative crutch in my life. Perhaps crossroads is the wrong word — maybe “four-way-intersection-with-two-lanes-of traffic-in-every-direction” is a more apt (albeit exhausting) phrase. I think it’s a more accurate representation of the cognitive racquetball game I’ve played against myself for these past few months, anyway.
The halting progress that I have made on this blog since I completed my Keystone project is an excellent example of what I feel as an overwhelming lack of purpose in my life. Writing in this medium helped me contribute to the big picture of public opinion in American society, but I reached a point rather recently that made me question how I fit into the public opinion in real time. Originally, this blog was designed to point out underlying social and cultural norms that impact and are influenced by women. It was once a space that exposed the design flaws in society that most people take for granted and accept as fact. I have not lost that interest in studying society and the people that help shape the public consciousness, but I feel that in many ways, my past focus has become somewhat obsolete.
This is primarily due to the fact that, at least in my life, women’s issues are becoming far more prominent and important in the news than they have been in a long time. It seems that every day I see a news article that immediately receives coverage and opinions from big names and bigger personalities scattered across the internet. Most of the time, I can’t keep up with the news — every time I think that there is something worth writing about, it appears that approximately 90 people have already done so, whether it is as a video or an opinions page or a Buzzfeed article. (That’s hallowed ground, right there — to see a news story you saw briefly become permanently fixed in the annals of a Buzzfeed article.) It’s like the internet has a personal vendetta against my desire to say something.
That is a borderline paranoia of mine, and it isn’t true. The only thing preventing me from writing about what I see is my perceived lack of new ideas or thoughts on a subject. That, and the fact that there is a lot on my plate already. However, I have also realized that part of what is making me feel so unproductive and purposeless is that I am falling prey to my own inertia. I’m not exactly in motion with anything at the moment, and it is easier to stay that way than to pick myself up and get things done ASAP. This inertia is also bound to pitch me off the deep end like a homemade slingshot in the hands of a sadistic 7 year old, if I allow it to happen. And that doesn’t sound like very much fun for anyone except said hypothetical kid.
I am going to make some changes to the site and see what I can do to remodel it to what I want it to be: a source of information and commentary on news and subjects that I find relevant to everyone, women most especially. The woman’s image in society won’t be abandoned as subject matter, but new areas of information will be provided as well. It’s like unhemming a pair of pants once you’ve hit your first growth spurt — it’s going to look odd and feel weird at first, but eventually you realize that it works even better than before.
To new pants!